You're Not Here
by Kuro49
Summary: RK Songfic. You can make the sun shine brighter, and your small smile would be my entire world. I just never thought I would sit around and cry for your love till now.


Song fic to Mellisa Williamson's _You're Not Here_, from the game, Silent Hill 3. :D When I first read the lyrics, it just seemed too RK for me to pass up XD So here it is, my first RK song fic! I don't own. I am sure you can guess the POV.

XXX

**You're Not Here**

XXX

_Blue sky to forever,_

_The green grass blows in the wind, dancing_

_It would be much better a sight with you, with me,_

_If you hadn't met me, I'd be fine on my own, baby,_

_I never felt so lonely, then you came along,_

I patted the place beside me once then twice.

It was empty.

But I felt the smell of you linger around me still.

The weather was so nice today, the sun was shining and a light breeze blew my hair around, and the sky was a clear blue that stretched on and on. I could keep on staring and never find the end. I admire the beauty of this heartless world around me. But nothing feels right, and I know why.

Everything was at its best, but it really could get better.

Only if you were here by my side.

You can make the sun shine brighter, and your small smile would be my entire world.

But now it crumbles and every part of me yearns for you.

And then the wind continues to ruffle my hair and the sun continues to shine on me, my back feels like as if it was burning with warmth. But yet I still felt a chill crawl up my spine because without your cold palms on my skin, I would never realized that I was warm.

I remembered the first time I met you; it wasn't that great at all. You were scowling throughout our whole introduction; I tried so hard to prevent myself from rolling my eyes back at you and brand you with two simple words 'immature brat.'

But that immature brat grew up each day and I was there by your side watching everything as it happened, along side of you, observing and catching every bit of your mistakes. The days repeated and we did as we were told but slowly we walked closer and closer.

You lost your pride and gave in to me, my lies soon blurred into truths and I was no longer in control. Even I didn't notice and one day at a time I realized that there was no more you and me and only we.

Now that I think back in time the two of us would have been great, led great lives too if we hadn't meet one another. You could have still been cold hearted and rejected the world from your heart. And I, I could have been a heartless Bookman if it wasn't for you.

How come now that I look up, the sun seems to be shining a little bit dimmer as the days without you pass by? Maybe one day it will get so dark that I will only see complete darkness even on days as brightly lit as this one.

I shield my eye from the sun and lowered my gaze.

_So now what should I do, I'm strung out, addicted to you,_

_My body it aches, now that you're gone,_

_My supply fell through,_

I twirled a strand of red with my finger; my hair has grown out a little since I left the Order.

I remembered I used to brush your hair with a fine ivory comb. Each strand of that ebony black would slip out of my hand with ease. You left me alone with your hair as you snored lightly in my lap and I would unconsciously smooth out each tangled strand as I read another book.

On those rainy days we would sneak off into a quiet corner of the library and breathed among the books. Not one book could keep your interest for long and so by the end of the day and the rain has finally stopped you would have piles and piles of books all around you.

Running a hand down your cheek I could feel your body shudder beneath my touch.

You thin whimper like breathing, I listened to it as if it was the last time I will hear it. Your hands unconsciously find mine's and our fingers are laced together in a loose sleepy grip.

I could still faintly smell your aura on me; it was a gentle airy scent that could have belonged to anyone but I know and I remember. It was you and only you that could have contaminated me with this scent because you are the one that have spent so much time on me.

Wishing and praying that maybe I should have just remained human and not tried to fulfill a destiny like one of the Bookmen Clan. But I did and my contract is sealed by the dark ink. My finger tips ran along the wrinkled edge of one of the many parchments bounded for us to read and review over.

You're gone.

Like the wind, like the sand, like the mist, like everything else that would leave once it held a place in your heart.

I miss you like there is no tomorrow, I just saw a lady with long ebony hair, that couldn't be you. She didn't have your grace or your arrogance. No one can match up to you, your thin smile was barely noticeable but once I saw it, it was my world.

You're gone, I can no longer chase after your shadow because it's fading and it's fading fast. The black on the ground has turned from gray to white and then you were gone.

But it wasn't your fault, you never left. It was me who left, who got up one day and walked away from you. I simply hope that you would never forget me because I don't think I am capable of forgetting you one bit.

_You gladly gave me everything you had and more, You craved my happiness,_

_When you make me feel joy it makes you smile, But now I feel your stress,_

_Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, no And who has time for tears,_

_Never thought I'd sit around and cry for your love, 'till now..._

I know you cared for me more than you did for yourself.

You didn't compliment me out loud; you didn't kiss me up front. You even pushed me away when we first met. Your arrogant smirk on your pale lips challenged me to take you head on.

But when the Akuma tried to slash its blade across my back you took him on, you dug Mugen into its withering soul and freed it from the Earl's hold. I was safe but you were bleeding from wounds unseen beneath that black and white coat.

How could you walk a mile for me when I have only taken a step for you?

And on the day I told you I had to leave you asked me one simple question.

"Did you love me?"

And when I nodded you gave me the faintest of smiles and accepted everything. You only needed to know that my love was real once, you believed in me and I believed in you. I trusted you with my heart and you never let me down. But the heart you gave me has long been lost in my memories yet I still remembered you as if you were still here.

I almost wished you held me back, pulled me into your arms and yelled at me for leaving. But you didn't, you let me go with that silent nod of approval. Your hand slipped around mine's and I knew it was best that we part ways.

"Did you love me?"

"Yes, I did."

But no love can save me from feeling a trickle of pain pull at my heart because when I followed the Bookman's footsteps out of the Order that day I felt warm tears falling down my cheeks, even the eye of Bookman was weeping for you.

How was it capable for me to feel pain when I had no heart in the first place?

And then realization dawned on me, it wasn't my heart that was hurting; it was your heart that you gave me the day our lips met.

I never knew that I could cry so much for someone until now. I could taste its saltiness on my lips and then I reached up to brush it away. I realized that love was never meant for people like me, heartless people like the clan of Bookmen; I should have never taken part in this dangerous affair. But I only realized that I took part in this game when I have loved and lost my only love.

And then I remember that you're not here and the game of love doesn't seem so challenging anymore.

XXX Kuro

Just a little sad but I don't think I went overboard with the angst right? XP Also this fic is posted in celebration of my completion on all my exams! XDD Anyway, drop by and tell me what you thought, review? ;D


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